honestly, its the most amazing being able to real with a guy.
to not have to fake a smile if im not happy.
but if hes near me i always am happy.
and when im not and hes not around he listens to me vent for as long as i need.
honestly, how amazing it is to be happy.
truely happy. god ive said ive been happy and in love so many times and i was so dumb and naive.
SO dumb i just wanted to be happy. i wanted to be like my sisters who have always had guys in love with them.
or my beautiful friends who could have any guy they wanted. i subjected myself to getting hurt cause i was jealous of that.
i wanted that so bad. and lost my best friend in the running of that too which is still upsetting.
but to finally actually be happy and not fake and my self.
open. real. happy. true is nice.
and im not rushing anything.
we go with the flow of it.
if its fast sometimes so be it.
if its slow great.
day by day im still happy.
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